Ass Hat took me over to Jengas place to drink. Never mind I was the only one under drinking age. I don’t really remember most of the night; not because I was that drunk; it was just THAT long ago. I remember Snake being there, but he must have left at some point. The only part I really remember about him being there is that he showed Jenga his dick piercing and let Jenga drip candle wax on him. I believe he regretted that decision immediately. Bwaahahaaa!
I’d never gotten sick from drinking, so I obviously didn’t know my limit. There were a few sips of a lot of different mixed drinks along with a lot of shots of Malibu Rum that I’d taken. There was a lot of laughing.
I was running around and around inside the house. I’m not sure if I was chasing or being chased but I remember tripping in the kitchen and rolling on the white tile floor. I remember laying on the cold tiles, on my back, looking up at the ceiling. There was a fan. I said, “Oh my god, the room is spinning…” Someone else, “That’s the fan.” I slowly rolled my head back and forth in the grout between two of the tiles, “Nope! The fan is still.” We all roared with laughter and someone shouted, “Yup! She’s DRUNK.”
And that is the moment it stopped being fun.
I went into the bathroom and realized I was going to hurl. There was a door going into the bathroom and a pocket door going to the toilet. I locked myself inside both of them. I was in there puking off and on for a while before there were knocks on the door.
Ass Hat: Hey!
Me: Go away. (I HATE conversations through the bathroom door)
Ass Hat: Ya pukin’?
Ass Hat tried to keep talking and get me to let him in but I refused. He picked both locks. He asked if I wanted water and Jenga fetched it. I took a few sips and puked some more.
Ass Hat (patronizingly): Awwww! You’re so cute when you throw up! Yes you are! Oh…. Yes you are! (He pinches my cheek)
Me: Seriously. Leave me the fuck alone.
Ass Hat continued.
Me: I’m about to piss you off if you don’t stop.
Ass Hat continued.
Me: I’m not joking.
Ass Hat continued.
Me: Last warning….
Ass Hat continued.
I emptied the glass of water on him. He jumped back, mouth opened in total shock. I laughed uncontrollably between puking. He wiped his face and continued to stare at me in disbelief. I handed the glass back to him for more water. That was MY mistake. He dumped about three more glasses back on me. I’m not saying I didn’t kinda deserve it, but I did regret getting him first.
I was soaked, but sobered up a bit. I remember Jenga, Ass Hat and I sleeping in Jengas room and he kept trying to get me to sneak off and have sex with him on the hammock in the backyard after Jenga had fallen asleep. Are you KIDDING me?!?
Ass Hat, Jenga and I decided to take a spontaneous road trip to Padre Island. We took Jengas car there and spent the day playing on the beach. I spent a LOT of time applying sunblock.
Ass Hat and I waded into the gulf until we were about shoulder deep. We were having a good time. We decided to ride the waves back to shore. A wave came and we jumped up to let it carry us closer to the shore, but it dropped us into a pit and we went in over our heads. Suddenly, Ass Hat has wrapped his entire body around my head. It was at THIS moment that I realized the bastard couldn’t swim. I knew if I panicked and tried to fight him off we would both drown so, I kept walking (underwater) towards the shore. Once he realized my head was above water, he knew he could touch and he let go. Once I stopped choking on saltwater, I said, “You tell me you love me and then you try to drown me?!” I said it jokingly and I knew he just panicked, but it still kind of got to me.
As the day was coming to an end, we decided we didn’t want to go home so we ran to the store and grabbed a few supplies so we could spend the night on the beach.
On the way to the store, Jenga started to get really tired so she asked Ass Hat to drive. We all jerked-jerked-jerked into reality when Ass Hat got behind the wheel of her standard. He couldn’t drive for shit. She then asked if I could drive. It’d been years since I’d driven a standard but I told her I would give it a shot. I got settled in and said, “Ok. I only have one question: where is first?” I could see the fear in their eyes. I knew this was a defining moment. I had to prove that I could do better. And I did. Flawlessly. I win!
We set up a (useless) wind blocker and spread the indian blankets in the sand (also useless). The sun went down and the tide went out. The moon was full and Jenga and I decided it would be a great idea to skinny dip in the ocean. We waited for a truck to pass, stripped down butt naked and went running into the waves. Ass Hat was waving a flashlight behind us as we squealed and tried to hide under the water. We quickly realized how hard it was to get deep enough for this with the tide out. We laid in the shallow water as another truck passed then ran back to our clothes.
Ass Hat said that he was going to use the bathroom and I said that I was going to head to the showers to get the sand out of the weird places. Of course, he met me in the showers and insisted we have sex. I was afraid of being caught, but he didn’t seem that bothered by it. He pressed my back against the shower stall and tucked his arm behind my knee. It was awkward and not working too terribly well so he ended up flipping me around. The shower kept turning off and one of us kept pushing the button to try to keep it flowing but we eventually gave up on that, too. Then, we heard Jenga walk into the showers.
She was calling our names but we were both frozen in silence. Ass Hat panicked and pushed the shower button, again, and squatted down to hide. I gave him a what-the-fuck-have-you-done stare. He realized his mistake when we could see her feet under the door. She bent to look down and he tried to recover by shouting “Boo!” I suppose it worked because she screamed and we died laughing. We played it off as if we had been hiding and waiting the entire time. I still don’t know if she bought it.
The three of us were exhausted and decided it was time to try to get some sleep and we set out to lay under the stars. It didn’t take too long to realize this was also a mistake. The wind shield wasn’t stopping the sand from blowing UNDER it and all over the blankets. We tried to bury it better but the damage had already been done. You cannot shake sand out of indian blankets. Also, it gets colder on the beach at night. ALSO, the crabs come out and crawl over you while you’re sleeping. *Shudders
Needless to say, we didn’t sleep well and by the next morning we realized how sunburned, windburned, stiff, sandy, and exhausted we were. It was time to go home. We loaded up and took off.
About the time we made it past Corpus Christi, Jenga says, “Oh my god… Something is wrong with the car. I perked up and saw steam coming out from under the hood. I said, “Pull over… No, to the right side of the road… No, the shoulder… Allllll the way over…. You have to be over the white line.” I’m sure you could fill in the rest. I’m already on the phone, trying to get some help. Ass Hat is just sitting in the back seat. Jenga gets out of the car and sits with her back against the wheel of the front drivers side tire. I freak out and tell her to move to the other side before she gets hit by a car.
I take a peek under the hood and find the radiator cap is popped open. “Jenga, when’s the last time you put water in your radiator?” She stared blankly at me, “What’s a radiator?” Answered THAT question. After a few hours, I found a tow dolly and a cousins boyfriend to come pick us up. He could only take us part of the way so I kept dialing numbers. I finally realized I was going to have to call my dad. I hadn’t really been on good terms with him and hated the thought of having to ask him for a favor, but I sucked it up and called him anyway. I have never asked him for anything. I told him the predicament I was in and the rest of the conversation went a little like this:
Me: Can you come pick up my two friends and I and haul her car on the tow dolly?
Dad: That’s three hours out of my way.
Me: I understand, but they both have to work tomorrow and I have class. I don’t have anyone else.
Dad: I have to be up early tomorrow and I have people counting on me to be there.
I was thinking, “Yeah? Like your daughter?” But, I didn’t say that.
Me: But, I don’t know anyone else. I’ve been trying to find help all day.
Dad: Well, maybe if I’d known in advance there would be something I could do.
This infuriated me.
Me: Well, if *I* had known in advance, I wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with! I have to go so I can find a way home.
I hung up.
After going through the rest of my contacts, I FINALLY found a friend to let us park Jenga’s car on her lawn and give us a ride back home.
I didn’t talk to my dad for two and a half years after that.
Later, I found out Ass Hat’s dad was a mechanic and Jenga’s parents had the money to take care of everything. I was pissed that no one else made a move to help, even as I was exhausting all of my resources. Ass Hat explained that I “took control” so neither of them felt they should do anything. There’s a difference between taking control and taking action, but what’s done is done. We were all young and inexperienced back then.