Double Dipping

Eventually, and thanks to an amazing friend getting my foot in the door, the cleaning part of my business got busy enough I had to hire help.  I had a hard time finding it and an even harder time keeping it.  First Guy, who was technically my boyfriend, was squatting with this asshole friend of his at some house that was for sale and didn’t have a job.  Remember when I said something was missing?  He didn’t have his shit together and wasn’t actively doing anything about it.

Oh, and by the way, I have good reason to call the guy Asshole Friend.  The first night I met the bastard, he kept buying me drinks until he thought he had me drunk enough.  I was bent over the table, lining up my shot, when he ran his hand up my skirt and his fingers gave me one, full pet, front to back.  I missed my shot, obviously.  I spun around and looked at the first guy I saw, who saw it happen and was totally caught by surprise, as well.  He pointed to Asshole Friend and the sonofabitch had this stupid smirky grin on his face.  I was livid.  How dare this guy, who is SUPPOSE to be a friend of my boyfriend, touch me like THAT without permission?!?  Later, as much as I didnt want to, I told First Guy.  I thought he should know what a scumbag his “friend” was.  Well of course, Asshole Friend denied it when I told my “boyfriend” about it, even though there were witnesses.  Well, First Guy claims he STILL doesn’t know who to believe and is still friends with Asshole Friend.  I’m sure that played a big part in the rest of this, but I’m not making excuses.  I may have had a promiscuous period in my life, but that does NOT make what Asshole Friend did okay.  On top of that, it’s also not okay with me that First Guy didn’t undeniably believe me.  The really screwed up thing is, Asshole Friend is hot.  If he hadn’t been best friends with First Guy and had a little more respect, I TOTALLY would’ve hit that.

Anyway, I’ve seen First Guy work and he works really friggin hard.  He’d known me well enough at this point to know how I like things done.  Perfectly.  So, I hired him to work for me and he did an AMAZING job.

When I landed this huge, nightmare job, I needed reinforcements.  I went and picked up 3 guys from Home Depot to help clean after new construction.  I left to run an errand and when I came back, one was missing and two wouldn’t do anything unless I was watching.  I put the sailor on the clock.  Now, Sailor and First Guy didn’t know about each other and I was sweating it a little but, I’d told them each that I’m running a business and want to remain professional in front of clients and my employees.  I also kept them in semi separate locations.

Chica

Ball Dunker bought a house so I was no longer welcome.  There was a chica I’d known for years that lived on the side of town I was needing to stay in.  She was married and had a daughter that was 2.  I knew she was a pathological liar and two-faced but, that didn’t really matter at the moment because I was desperate for a place to stay.  She let me rent a room for $100/month.  It was her daughter’s room, but the kid never used it.  She was a co-sleeper.  Personally, I think that’s a terrible idea for your sex life, but in this case, it was working to my advantage and I kept my mouth shut.  Now, there were some problems with this situation.  She’d always claimed to be a super clean freak but that wasn’t what I saw.  I brought over my cleaning supplies from my business and went to town on (my part of) that place.  I was filling my vacuum with roach carcasses and such from the bedroom and hair from the bathroom.  To not offend her, I said that I’m just weird like that and it’s part of my moving ritual.

She had this widower friend that lived above her apartment that she introduced me to.  She told me how nice he was and how funny he was and that he had an autistic daughter (who was super sweet, by the way).  I named him Creepy Friend for a reason.  I entertained the idea of taking it to the next level with the guy but I just got this strange vibe from him I couldn’t really explain.  Something was off.  He was seeing this other chick (I’m not judging) but he wouldn’t admit to it.  I didn’t care, I just couldn’t stand that he was undeniably lying about it.  On top of that, the chick was crazy jealous and it was just too much drama for me.

Well, it wasn’t long before Chica started getting weird about me spending less time there but she loved hanging out with me and hearing about my promiscuous circle of guys.  The sailor would come over every once in a while and hang out with me.  He lived on his boat and the cost of gas for the generator in a Texas summer could get kinda steep when you didn’t have a steady job.  He didn’t shower or anything there so it shouldn’t have been a big deal but, before too long, Chica started getting passive aggressive.  Then, there was a time or two when I would come home and I would be locked out.  Since their kid was sleeping in their bed, they were having sex on the couch.  I mean, I’d literally sat in the wet spot after it had crusted over.  It took me a minute to figure out it wasn’t dried milk from a spilt sippy cup! Come on!  Put a towel down!!!  I was livid for having to wait outside for them to get off and open the door so I could get to my stuff.  I had even called first!

Once, I was hanging out with her, her husband and their daughter. She made some cute little wisecrack at him and it set him off. He started yelling and chest bumping her. It knocked her over and she had her hands up and kept begging him to stop. I didn’t know how to react and I was afraid he’d turn and hit me so, I stayed really quiet and still. It was over and she got up like nothing happened. She started talking to her daughter and sounded all excited about them going to the store. It was strange, but I went along with it and left with them. I was fuming and fearful at the same time. “How could she stay with someone that would treat her that way! I would NEVER put up with that!!!” We got in her car and she was blaring Adel’s Rumor Has It. Her little girl was singing, “Ooooo-woo!” It was the cutest thing ever. I had a conversation with her about it. I told her that what he did was not normal, it was not okay, she and her daughter deserved better. She thanked me for saying something. No one had ever said anything to her about it. I didn’t know he’d done this before. She stayed. She’s still with him. You think I would’ve run away then.

But, the last straw was when I’d stayed the night somewhere else and they let this huge, greasy, sweaty, dirty, hairy dude sleep in MY bed.  They didn’t ask me or anything until after the fact.  I moved my shit out that day and the greasy guy was still there when I did it.

That’s when I moved into my client’s house; the room right next to Sparkles.

Triple Dipping

Now, it was somewhere during the time I was living with Chica that I started working for this particular client, let’s call him The Salesman, since that was his line of work.  Keep in mind, all the previously mentioned guys were secretly intermingling in my life and there were other minor instances that I’m probably not mentioning.  I had needs that not one of them could meet on their own.  That is, until Sparkles broke it off with Ms. Twiggy and we could finally be together.

It’s totally messed up but, I kept my circle around a little longer because I was getting mixed signals from Sparkles.  I knew he was unhappy in the relationship he had been in with Ms. Twiggy so I didn’t have the need to feel guilty.  It was for the best for him.  He told me that he didn’t want to be in a relationship; that he needed to be alone for a while to heal from his broken marriage.  He said he should just stay single.  He said a lot of things.  But, I saw the way he would look at me and I saw that he didn’t mean it.

Then, things got messy.  Business was so busy, I was totally desperate to find someone to help.  I was completely understaffed with this huge project and my more long term client needed extra work.  I took a deep breath and told myself , “I got this.” and picked up the phone.  I had First Guy, Sailor, Creepy Friend’s daughter, and I working ridiculously long hours and it STILL wasn’t enough.  I told Sparkles and he offered to bring a friend/supposed employee with him to help.  So, they show up and I gave them a crash course on how to do a make-ready on an apartment.  They went to work.  I went across the apartment complex to another apartment and the Sailor is swabbing the floors. I hop on a stepladder to inspect the overhead kitchen cabinets and he slips up behind me and runs his finger from my ankle all the way up to my inner thigh.  It was kinda hot but I cringed.  I didn’t want him if I could have Sparkles.  He kissed me and I let him because I didn’t want to make him suspicious and possibly cause a scene.  This was stressful enough.  I took off to yet another apartment where First Guy was furiously scrubbing a shower.  He stopped when I walked in and gave me a big grin, then pursed his lips for a kiss.  I told you it was getting messy!  I gave him a quick peck, said I had to check on Creepy Guy’s daughter and took off.  She was in the gym at the apartment complex, cleaning away.  I gave her a thumbs up as I passed her and headed to the manager’s office. Manager and I are great friends.  She gave me a big grin and I collapsed in the chair, exhausted.  “Tired of running all these men, yet?” she asked.  “Oh. My. God. HOW has this all not blown up in my face?” I said.  We laughed.  I was in control.

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