Tag: abuse

Down the Rabbit Hole Part 8: Many Lessons Learned

Down the Rabbit Hole Part 8: Many Lessons Learned

Butterfly

Ass Hat introduced me to his super cool chick friend, Butterfly.  She was going to come and crash on my couch for a couple of nights so we took her to grab some of her stuff and head to my place.  I hadn’t met her before so we sat around the living room getting to know each other.  I asked her about the giant homemade tattoo she had inside her forearm.  She told me the story of how she was

Continue reading “Down the Rabbit Hole Part 8: Many Lessons Learned”

Down the Rabbit Hole Part 5: Cereal Killer

Down the Rabbit Hole Part 5: Cereal Killer

Before my mom remarried, she was engaged to a guy I call Cereal Killer.  He was super cool and I really liked him.  We all had a lot of fun together.  I used to tease him about the way he ate cereal, hence the name.  She broke off the engagement when I was in 8th grade.  She said it wasn’t my fault, but I knew it was because of what I told her…

Continue reading “Down the Rabbit Hole Part 5: Cereal Killer”

Down the Rabbit Hole – Part 1: Dating Friends

Down the Rabbit Hole – Part 1: Dating Friends

I needed a bit of a mental break from talking about Sparkles for a bit and the point we are in my story just happens to provide the perfect opportunity to dive much further into my past.  I feel it’s important to recognize how past experiences (good and bad), traumas and relationships develop a pattern over time. Continue reading “Down the Rabbit Hole – Part 1: Dating Friends”

The Forbidden Fruit

The Forbidden Fruit

Now, I mentioned that Sparkles broke it off with Ms. Twiggy.  This is

My first week working for this client, he tells me that he bought tickets for him and his girlfriend to see a rock concert.  He wanted me to print out directions, nearby places to eat and such.  I put together a pretty elaborate package for him and he was totally impressed. Winning!  The day of the concert, Continue reading “The Forbidden Fruit”

The Full Circle

The Full Circle

 

Double Dipping

Eventually, and thanks to an amazing friend getting my foot in the door, the cleaning part of my business got busy enough I had to hire help.  I had a hard time finding it and an even harder time keeping it.  First Guy, who was technically my boyfriend, was squatting with this asshole friend of his at some house that was for sale and didn’t have a job.  Remember when I said something was missing?  He didn’t have his shit together and wasn’t actively doing anything about it.

Oh, and by the way, Continue reading “The Full Circle”

The Circle (2/2)

The Circle (2/2)

We left off with the first half of my circle of guys.  By now, I hope you all realize there’s was something really missing in my life.  I felt like I was making up for not having enough attention in my previous engagement but I also felt a strong need to feel in control.  I did that by being totally out of control.  I know.  Ironic.  I was using these guys to meet all of my needs and fill the voids in my life.  What I really wanted (and I still do) is a child of my own.  I had to leave the sweetest little boy that I considered my son and made me melt every time he called me “Mommy” because he was Ex Fiancé’s and I had no rights.  I mean, I considered running away to Mexico with the kid, but I never followed through.  Anyway, back to the other half of the circle. Continue reading “The Circle (2/2)”

The Circle (1/2)

The Circle (1/2)

 

 

First of all, I feel like I need to say, even though this is anonymous, it’s REALLY hard to be this transparent.  I mean, I’m putting EVERYTHING out there for the entire world to read in hopes that it can change even one life for the better. To do that, I know I have to be bold and hold nothing back.  I’ve been having an anxiety attack about it since this started.  I’m trudging through it and I know this is for the greater good, but I also know it makes me look terrible and shallow.  I’m not proud of it but I feel like if I were leaving it out, I’d be lying.  Who knows?  Maybe more of you will be able to relate to this post than I think.  Keep reading; it gets deeper and so do I.

image1When we left off last, I was telling you a bit about Sparkles and Ms. Twiggy.  He told me his relationship with her wasn’t going anywhere and he was really unhappy with where it was.  He knew he needed to end it but he basically just didn’t have the balls or the motivation to do it.  I became his motivation but my situation was a LOT more complicated than his lack of love.  Like, 8 times more complicated.  8. Continue reading “The Circle (1/2)”