I needed a bit of a mental break from talking about Sparkles for a bit and the point we are in my story just happens to provide the perfect opportunity to dive much further into my past. I feel it’s important to recognize how past experiences (good and bad), traumas and relationships develop a pattern over time. Continue reading “Down the Rabbit Hole – Part 1: Dating Friends”
Now, I mentioned that Sparkles broke it off with Ms. Twiggy. This is
My first week working for this client, he tells me that he bought tickets for him and his girlfriend to see a rock concert. He wanted me to print out directions, nearby places to eat and such. I put together a pretty elaborate package for him and he was totally impressed. Winning! The day of the concert, Continue reading “The Forbidden Fruit”
Eventually, and thanks to an amazing friend getting my foot in the door, the cleaning part of my business got busy enough I had to hire help. I had a hard time finding it and an even harder time keeping it. First Guy, who was technically my boyfriend, was squatting with this asshole friend of his at some house that was for sale and didn’t have a job. Remember when I said something was missing? He didn’t have his shit together and wasn’t actively doing anything about it.
Oh, and by the way, Continue reading “The Full Circle”
We left off with the first half of my circle of guys. By now, I hope you all realize there’s was something really missing in my life. I felt like I was making up for not having enough attention in my previous engagement but I also felt a strong need to feel in control. I did that by being totally out of control. I know. Ironic. I was using these guys to meet all of my needs and fill the voids in my life. What I really wanted (and I still do) is a child of my own. I had to leave the sweetest little boy that I considered my son and made me melt every time he called me “Mommy” because he was Ex Fiancé’s and I had no rights. I mean, I considered running away to Mexico with the kid, but I never followed through. Anyway, back to the other half of the circle. Continue reading “The Circle (2/2)”
First of all, I feel like I need to say, even though this is anonymous, it’s REALLY hard to be this transparent. I mean, I’m putting EVERYTHING out there for the entire world to read in hopes that it can change even one life for the better. To do that, I know I have to be bold and hold nothing back. I’ve been having an anxiety attack about it since this started. I’m trudging through it and I know this is for the greater good, but I also know it makes me look terrible and shallow. I’m not proud of it but I feel like if I were leaving it out, I’d be lying. Who knows? Maybe more of you will be able to relate to this post than I think. Keep reading; it gets deeper and so do I.
When we left off last, I was telling you a bit about Sparkles and Ms. Twiggy. He told me his relationship with her wasn’t going anywhere and he was really unhappy with where it was. He knew he needed to end it but he basically just didn’t have the balls or the motivation to do it. I became his motivation but my situation was a LOT more complicated than his lack of love. Like, 8 times more complicated. 8. Continue reading “The Circle (1/2)”
I met a guy and he was yummy. I mean, I shook his hand and thought to myself, “Oh, man. I’m in trouble.” I didn’t realize how true those those words would become. It was an instant connection and it was so strong it had its own gravitational pull. He was good-looking, sexy, charming… His eyes and his smile just made me melt. Geez, this sounds like the beginning of a romance novel. But, it WAS a romance novel. He was perfect and he wanted ME. Continue reading “The Beginning”